A Planner's Library Must Have

Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, Fifth Edition

The subtitle of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, Fifth Edition, by Peggy Post, is "the definitive guide to your wedding experience". While most subtitles are just meant to catch your attention, this one is actually true. This book covers everything from engagement etiquette to how a receiving line should be arranged to appropriate cake cutting methods.

I was most impressed with how current the fifth edition of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette is. For every stage of the planning, it gives advice on possibly complicated family situations. Questions regarding how to politely address divorced and remarried parents, grandparents, or close extended family have cropped up in the weddings of nearly every one of my friends and clients. This book has the answers to many of the hard questions, like these:

• How should you seat divorced parents of the groom? According to Peggy Post, the groom's mother and her close family should sit in the front pew while the father of the groom and his close family should sit in the third or fourth pew back. If the groom's parents are divorced but on good terms, they can both sit in the first pew. (Page 352)
• Can the bride's stepfather walk her down the aisle? While the ultimate decision of who will give her away is the bride's, it is acceptable for the bride's stepfather to walk her down the aisle. She could even have both her biological father and step-father escort her. (Page 353)

In keeping with the times, the fifth edition Wedding Etiquette also includes proper ways to use technology in planning your big day. While email has become an accepted method of communication in almost every aspect of life, Peggy Post insists that there are times in your wedding planning when email is and isn't appropriate:

• Can I email my "Save the Date" notices, or do they have to mailed? "Save the Date" notices can be emailed, as can invitations to informal or casual engagement parties and bridal showers. Ceremony and reception invitations should never be emailed. (Page 170)
  
• Is it improper to allow my guests to RSVP by email? You can allow guests to RSVP by email, but be sure to that guests who don't use email have an address to mail their RSVPs to. (Page 170)
  
• Can thank you notes be emailed? Thank you notes should always be a handwritten note, even if you've fallen behind in your note writing. A late note is still more acceptable than an email. (Page 169)

Anyone planning a wedding needs this book. Whether you're a bridesmaid, parent, or the happy couple, invest in this book. It'll be invaluable in your planning. Ultimately, you want everyone to have a great time at your wedding, feeling comfortable and accepted. This book will help you accomplish your goal; it's your go-to guide for answering tricky questions.

To purchase this or other etiquette books, visit the Emily Post Weddings website.


Image courtesy of http://weddings.emilypost.com/etiquette/index.htm.

Hollywood Style without the Hollywood Price Tag

Hollywood is classy, glamorous, and exciting...everything you want your next party to be! This is one of a series of three articles of ideas to add glitz and glam to a film-themed event, whether it's an Oscar party or a girls' movie night in. These ideas will help you create a Hollywood hit of a party without the Hollywood price tag.

Marquee Decoration

You'll need:

• White butcher/roll paper
• Yard stick/straight edge
• Black marker
• Black paint
• Pencil
• Gold paint
• Wooden stars
• Rubber cement glue

How To Create:

1. Cut butcher paper to 6 foot length using a straight edge and pencil.


2. Measure 6 inches in from each side of the butcher paper and draw a vertical line.


3. Measure over another 3 inches and draw a vertical line to create the bars on both sides of the marquee. Fill in the bar with black marker or black paint.


4. Measure 6 inches from the top of the butcher paper and draw a horizontal line connecting the two bars. Measure down 3 inches from that line and draw a matching horizontal line. Do this one more time to create the marquee “Now Showing” lines. Go over these lines with black marker.


5. Write in “NOW SHOWING” on marquee lines. Fill in space below lines with information about your event. If you're throwing a party at home, list the names of your guests. For a movie night, list the films you'll be watching.


6. Decorate the marquee with wooden stars (purchased at a craft store), spray painted gold and glued to the banner.

Hang your banner over a doorway or on a prominent wall in your event. This idea will make a big impact on your event without making a big hole in your budget. Check back for ideas on centerpieces and party favors.

The Wedding's for You, but the Reception's for Your Guests

Everyone always says that a wedding is all about the bride and groom. While this is true, the reception is not. The reception is the party you are throwing for your guests to share in your wedding celebration. As such, keep your guests and their happiness in mind when planning your reception. While there are millions of ways to do this, the easiest is to create an atmosphere in which everyone feels accepted and comfortable.

Seating charts are an extra step in the planning process but can really make a difference to your guests. While you will want to share your big day with everyone close to you, these people may not be close to each other. Your high school best friend may not know your college roommates. Your college roommates may never have met your out-of-state cousins. Being the person who doesn't know anyone at your wedding will make your guest feel awkward and uncomfortable, rather than happy and welcomed. By creating a seating chart, you can help create new friendships between your family and friends from different social circles. Seating people together who have common interests will give them something to talk about and help everyone feel included in your celebration.

You could even go one step further to help people get to know each other by naming each table on place cards. If your Aunt Sue is a veterinarian and your college roommate Jackie loves dogs, print "Pet Lover's Table" under their names on their place cards. This will automatically give these two guests a common topic from which to start a conversation. Be creative with how you let others know the shared interests of the people you seat them with.

Also, keep your guests in mind when placing your head table. Head tables are designed to make the members of the bridal party the center of attention by placing them as the focal point of the room. However, this arrangement can also make the bridal party feel distant and unapproachable. Some couples choose not to have a head table, deciding instead to sit among their guests. While solving the problem of the bridal party feeling unapproachable, sitting among the guests could cause hurt feelings in those who's tables don't have a member of the bridal party seated at them.

An alternative option would be to have a head table placed in an easily visible and accessible area of the reception. For example, I attended a wedding recently in which the head table was placed along the side of the dance floor, overlooking dancing guests, with the D.J. set up on the opposite side. Guest tables were arrange along the opposite sides of the floor. The end result was one the created a community feeling around the dance floor where guests could enjoy dancing and conversing with the bridal party at the same time. Guest table areas then became places for conversation and reminiscing amongst guests. Guests felt free to move between both areas of the reception because neither space as clearly defined and both felt open and welcoming.

However you decide to seat your guests, remember that ultimately the wedding reception is as much about your guests as it is about you and your new spouse. You'll want to take steps to ensure that everyone feels comfortable enough to have a good time and remember your reception as fondly as you will.

Keep Your 'Maids in Mind...And Be Kind

While the bride and groom are the center of attention at any wedding, everyone wants to share in their joy by looking their best. Everyone from guests to ushers will want to pull out their Sunday finest for your wedding, and this includes your bridesmaids.

We've all seen those bridesmaid dresses that made us think "that poor girl", then make our best friends promise us that they'll never put us in a dress like that one. The dresses worn by Katherine Heigel's character in 27 Dresses are perfect examples of these. When planning your wedding, keep your bridesmaids in mind. Even though it's your day, they're just as involved and passionate about your wedding as you are.

When deciding on bridesmaid attire, there are simple ways to help everyone look and feel gorgeous and confident as they stand at the alter with you. Here are a few tips to keep in mind when shopping:

• No Two Women are Shaped the Same: Not all your bridesmaids have the same body type and shape, so one dress style won't look good on all of them. Fuller figured girls may feel uncomfortable in spaghetti strap or strapless dresses. Some of your bridesmaids may prefer a more reserved neckline, while others may want a shorter hemline. There's no one dress that can fit the needs of every woman's body type but allowing bridesmaids to pick dresses of different styles within your color scheme will help everyone look amazing and feel confident in pictures.


• Two Parts are Better Than One: Sometimes a dress is not an option at all. Oftentimes, a woman can wear several sizes depending on where she's measured. She may have a size 12 waist but a size 16 bust, which makes dress shopping stressful and upsetting. Separate tops and bottoms are now available in most bridal salons, and allow bridesmaids to find a more customized fit. David's Bridal offers separates, and an online tool to give you an idea of the look options available.
  
  
• Be Kind: Most importantly, be kind when dressing your 'maids. Your wedding is your big day, but your bridesmaids want to look and feel beautiful as they share in your celebration. Don't dress your bridesmaids in something you won't be caught dead in; it's likely they won't want to be either. Show your bridesmaids how happy you are to have them in your wedding by allowing them to wear something they'll be proud to stand next to you in. They'll remember your kindness and return the favor during their own weddings.

By keeping these tips in mind when shopping for their wedding attire, your bridesmaids will be as beautiful and confident as they've ever been as they stand beside you at the alter, creating a wonderful memory for them and for you.

Image found at Fandango.com, as well as more information on Katherine Heigel's 27 Dresses.

Magnetic Save-The-Date Cards

Save-the-date cards have become a standard part of wedding planning. According to Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, Fifth Edition (copyright 2006), save-the-date cards are for "giving advance notice of an upcoming wedding [and] can be very helpful to guests who must make travel plans" (p.142). Though traditionally printed on postcard or single sided invitation card, save-the-date cards have recently undergone a magnetic transformation.

Save-the-date cards printed on magnets have become really popular lately. And it makes perfect sense! Who can keep track of a single sided invitation or postcard? No one, honestly. A magnet will be stuck right to your guests' refrigerators as soon as they come in the mail and be seen every time they grab a snack.

While magnetic save-the-dates are a really practical idea, ordering these from a professional printing service can cost a small fortune. Some online stores sell them for as much as $1.49 each, with a minimum order of 100. For the bride on a budget, this is simply out of the question. However, magnetic save-the-dates can easily be made at home.

You can purchase blank sheets of magnetic paper from most office supply stores. Avery offers such a product for ink jet users that can be found at Staples. Once you have the magnetic sheets, you simply need to design your save-the-date card in Publisher or another design software on your computer, like this one done by some friends of mine. Be sure to include the wording "Save the Date", the names of the bride and groom, the date of the wedding, and the location if you've decided on it. Dress up the magnet with images that represent you and your groom, making them both decorative and informative. Print several to a sheet, cut apart, and mail.

You'll have created not only a save-the-date card, but also a small keepsake from your wedding. Your guests will love how practical your save-the-dates are, and you'll love stretching your budget while still having a fun and interesting way to announce your big day.

Out of the Box Easter Baskets

Every Spring, local department stores and supermarkets are overrun with bunnies, chicks, pastel candies, and eggs in preparation for Easter. While most of the gift items available are meant for kids, Easter baskets don't have to be exclusively children's gifts. Adult Easter baskets are just as easy to put together as those for kids, and are equally appreciated. You just have to think outside of the box...and beyond your grocery store's Easter aisle. Here are some easy Easter basket ideas for the grown ups, or grown-up kids, in your life.

• For the Coffee Lover: We all have that friend who can't function without a cup-a-joe in the morning. Making an Easter basket for this friend is snap. Begin filling a medium sized basket with large bags of flavored or imported coffees. World Market has a wonderful selection of these in their stores. Usually two will fit nicely inside a medium basket. Pick a mug that fits your friend, and nestle it between the two bags. Had some height with pre-packaged biscotti arranged inside the mug. Add a gift card to a local coffee house and a bag of chocolate covered coffee beans to complete the gift. This basket can be easily converted to a "Tea Lover's" gift by exchanging the bags of coffee for imported teas, and the chocolate coffee beans for chocolate covered shortbread.


• For the Spring Gardener: If you have a friend with a green thumb, use a widemouthed watering can instead of a basket for your Easter gift. Pop in Spring colored gardening gloves. Add seeds for herbs, flowers, and hearty veggies that grow well in your area. Be sure to do a little research on what grows well in your climate; nothing will ruin this gift faster than seeds that won't grow. Include a small gardening book of hints and tips, and some sunblock for those long gardening afternoons to finish the gift.


• For the Friend On-the-Go: We all have that friend that never stops moving. The best gift for this friend is relaxation. Start your medium size Easter basket with bath salts and bubble bath, possibly aromatherapy. I recommend things with lavender or mint in them. Add a candle or two, and a small box of matches. Dress up the matches by covering the box with festive contact paper or a pastel bow. Top off the basket with a bath pillow or eye mask, and you're set!
  
  
• For a Afternoon Outing: As Spring has officially sprung, why not give a gift to get your friend outside and enjoying the gorgeous weather? This basket can't be prepared too far in advance, but will be a big hit. Go to your local specialty foods store the morning before you plan to give your basket. Purchase a loaf of nice bread, and have it sliced by the baker. Choose an assortments of spreads that don't need to be refrigerated. Place these in your basket, along with a bottle of wine. Add an assortment of seasonal fruits or a pre-made fruit salad to complete the meal. Finish the basket with a few napkins and prepackaged silverware hid in the bottom, and send your friend out on a lovely afternoon picnic.

For all your baskets, use shredded colored paper for filler instead of store-bought plastic Easter grass. It's pet safe, can be easily recycled, and will save you money that can be used to add an extra surprise to your gift. To wrap your basket, use cello basket bags (found in the stationary section of most stores) or tulle and close with a festive bow.

Keep in mind, these Easter basket ideas can be used for really any holiday or gift giving occasion. Just change the way you wrap it up, and you have a whole new gift for Christmas, birthdays, housewarmings...anything really!

On the Hunt for A New Party Idea

Recently, I have encountered a surprising number of people looking for fun and different birthday party ideas for pre-teens. Pre-teens are a particularly hard group to throw organized parties for. They're too old for the parties themed around movies and television shows, but too young for less organized get-togethers. Keeping this age group entertained and giving them a birthday party they'll love is a challenge, but not impossible. Scavenger Hunts have become really popular recently, especially at malls. They're super easy to arrange and kids love them!

This party takes a little bit of advance preparation. Decide on the mall that you'd like to hold the Scavenger Hunt in. Visit that mall a few days before the party date to get a "lay of the land", so to speak. Go into the stores that you'd like to have listed on the Hunt. Get an idea of what products are currently available for purchase. You're looking for small, low cost items that the kids participating will have to really look around for. Make a list of these items, noting what's around the item and some of it's noticeable characteristics. Gauge the number of items on your Hunt, as well as the stores you find them in, by the number and age of the kids participating. Also, take note of how much each item costs. Take your list home and create riddles and turn-a-phrases about each item to make your Scavenger Hunt Riddles List.

On the day of the party, have all the kids meet at the food court of the mall. Arrange in advance for a few parents to stay with the group to help you out. When all the kids have arrived, have them get into teams and hand out copies of your Riddles List. Assign a parent to each team and give the parents enough money to cover purchasing items on your list.

Now, I know that this might seem like a turn off, suggesting purchaseing the items on your Riddles List. Some people have tried photographing the items on their lists, but this is a bad idea. Companies have copyrights on the label designs for all their products. Photographing these items is a violation of those copyrights, and infuriates store employees. You want this it be a fun experience for the kids, not one that causes them to get into trouble or yelled at. To ensure the kids have the best experience possible, choose items with small price tags and instruct the teams to purchase the items that answer the riddles on their lists.

Once the kids are in teams with their riddles, and their parent leader is equipped with the team's money, you're ready to start. Send the teams off in different directions, with instructions that the first team back to the starting location wins the Hunt. When the Hunt is over, allow the teams to split up their purchases to keep as party favors. End the party with lunch at a local restaurant or ice cream at the mall's food court. The kids will have a blast, with very little stress for you!