"Something New" in Etiquette: Book Review

In the past few months, I've been reading a lot of books on wedding etiquette. While they're all filled with fantastic information on how to write invitations, protocol of pre-wedding events, and appropriate attire, most are written like a textbook. This textbook feel is very discouraging to the reader. Even as a wedding planner, I'm turned off by an etiquette book that makes me feel like I'm back in college studying for an exam.

There is hope, though! I have recently finished reading Something New: Wedding Etiquette for Rule Breakers, Traditionalists, and Everyone in Between by Elise Mac Adam. Brides-to-be this is the etiquette book for you. It's short, to the point, and rooted in issues that face the modern bride. Mac Adam divides each etiquette topic into three main parts: traditional etiquette rules, the modern evolution of that rule, and letters from real brides.

The letters from real brides take this book beyond a normal etiquette text. These letters put etiquette into context, giving the reader advice based on actual situations. What's the best way to tell your guests you don't want presents when the host of your wedding thinks otherwise? As it's proper to invite all out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner, how do you ask your fiance's family to pay for extra people? How do you handle financial differences between families? The answers to these questions and more are answered in this book.

Brides, pick up this book for your etiquette questions and forget the textbooks.



To learn more about author Elise Mac Adam, visit her website. Image courtesy of http://elisemacadam.com/.

A Planner's Library Must Have

Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, Fifth Edition

The subtitle of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, Fifth Edition, by Peggy Post, is "the definitive guide to your wedding experience". While most subtitles are just meant to catch your attention, this one is actually true. This book covers everything from engagement etiquette to how a receiving line should be arranged to appropriate cake cutting methods.

I was most impressed with how current the fifth edition of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette is. For every stage of the planning, it gives advice on possibly complicated family situations. Questions regarding how to politely address divorced and remarried parents, grandparents, or close extended family have cropped up in the weddings of nearly every one of my friends and clients. This book has the answers to many of the hard questions, like these:

• How should you seat divorced parents of the groom? According to Peggy Post, the groom's mother and her close family should sit in the front pew while the father of the groom and his close family should sit in the third or fourth pew back. If the groom's parents are divorced but on good terms, they can both sit in the first pew. (Page 352)
• Can the bride's stepfather walk her down the aisle? While the ultimate decision of who will give her away is the bride's, it is acceptable for the bride's stepfather to walk her down the aisle. She could even have both her biological father and step-father escort her. (Page 353)

In keeping with the times, the fifth edition Wedding Etiquette also includes proper ways to use technology in planning your big day. While email has become an accepted method of communication in almost every aspect of life, Peggy Post insists that there are times in your wedding planning when email is and isn't appropriate:

• Can I email my "Save the Date" notices, or do they have to mailed? "Save the Date" notices can be emailed, as can invitations to informal or casual engagement parties and bridal showers. Ceremony and reception invitations should never be emailed. (Page 170)
  
• Is it improper to allow my guests to RSVP by email? You can allow guests to RSVP by email, but be sure to that guests who don't use email have an address to mail their RSVPs to. (Page 170)
  
• Can thank you notes be emailed? Thank you notes should always be a handwritten note, even if you've fallen behind in your note writing. A late note is still more acceptable than an email. (Page 169)

Anyone planning a wedding needs this book. Whether you're a bridesmaid, parent, or the happy couple, invest in this book. It'll be invaluable in your planning. Ultimately, you want everyone to have a great time at your wedding, feeling comfortable and accepted. This book will help you accomplish your goal; it's your go-to guide for answering tricky questions.

To purchase this or other etiquette books, visit the Emily Post Weddings website.


Image courtesy of http://weddings.emilypost.com/etiquette/index.htm.

Party Foul: Don't Let the Whistle Be Blown on Your Next Get Together

We've all been to a party where red wine ruined the hostess' new cream carpeting, or brought veggies to a potluck just to realize they're ice cold by the time you serve them. Don't worry, these "party fouls" happen to all of us once in a while. But they don't have to keep happening.

For Christmas I was given a book called Heloise Hints for All Occasions, copyright 1995 by The Hearst Corporation. This book is amazing! It has tips and hints for everything you could think of when planning for a special occasion. From pre-party planning, to cooking for a crowd, to special gift ideas - it's got it all! Pick this book up on Amazon or at a local used book store; it'll be a life safer at your next party and save you from those embarrassing party fouls.

To give you a taste of the ideas in this book, I've included a few hints that will help with some common party fouls:

• A glass of red wine was spilt on my new tablecloth. How can I save it?
  Heloise says "pour salt on the stain to absorb the liquid...remove the tablecloth, let it soak in cold water" then "rinse and wash as usual" (p. 99).
  I've also seen this work on carpet, too. Red wine was spilled on an expensive rug at a party I attended. The hostess covered the spot with salt, and let it sit. When she cleaned up the salt, it had absorbed most of the stain and she simply cleaned up the rest with soap and water.
  
  
• My apple pie recipe calls for cups but they're only sold in pounds.
  According to Heloise, for "apples: 1 pound equals about 3 medium or 3 cups sliced" (p.17). This isn't the only measurement hint in Heloise's book. She covers everything from fruit to coffee to flour.
  
  
• My daughter's birthday party is today, and I forgot to buy gift wrap!
  Heloise suggests that you "save the shiny helium balloons you receive for birthdays...and then use them for gift wrap after they deflate. Carefully slit the edge of the balloon to make an opening large enough to insert the gift, then realign the open edges and tape them shut with transparent tape" (p. 125).
  
  
• It's my turn to bring veggies to our family potluck, but they never seem to stay hot.
  When transporting hot vegetables, Heloise suggests you "put the hot vegetables into a wide-mouth half-gallon thermos" (p.65).

I have fallen in love with the handy tips in this book. I recommend it to anyone planning a party, be it a small dinner gathering or an anniversary party for 200 guests. You'll find everything you need to know to keep the whistle from being blown on your next get together.


Image found at www.heloise.com/booksocc.html.